Yep, lyrics again. These are very poignant for today. You see, this song reminds me of my mother, for many reasons. My mother passed this morning and I am sad. I am beyond sad, but I don’t have the vocabulary to more accurately express how I feel.
“My Favorite Things” was one of my mother’s favorite songs. She taught me to sing it when I was wee little and she took great joy sitting down to the piano and accompanying me while I sang it.
I remember practicing this song day and night as my audition song for a musicals in our local theater. She was precious taking her time to record the music on the great, big, old reel-to-reel for me to use as I practiced.
She worked with me on timing, breathing, choreography, the whole bit. It was special time we shared together. When I didn’t get the lead, I felt like I had let her down somehow, but she never would tell you that, she was always in my corner.
My mother was an artist at heart. She took great pleasure in making the world happy. She had this desire to perform and was disappointed when I didn’t share this talent.
I anticipate there will be more rambling entries like this as the next few days pass and I get a grip on the whole situation.
Thank you Green Day for some of my favorite lyrics and expressing such emotion in your work!
DISCLAIMER – what follows is a random stream of thought the provides a deeper into me.
For the first time in my entire life, I am allowed – er, encouraged – to learn about pop culture. That is kind of awesome.
Just a quick catch up, as I got busy doing life again, rather than pondering about it, the following things happened:
– Started the new job. Like it? Love it? Opportunity? How am I handling it?
– Driving a lot. Long way to work. How am I doing on the interstate?
– Daughter is getting married soon. How’s that going? Wow!
– My beautiful grandbabies are back in school. They are growing up way too fast!
To sum it up: there’s a boatload of things happening in my day-to-day life. In my mind’s eye, I see my mother repeating her mantra about how to handle life, “That’s life, it is so daily.”
To be fair, she probably said it with a great deal of enthusiasm.
I heard this my whole life. I interpreted it when I was about 17.
I have reassessed the meaning, recently.
My mother? Well she isn’t really capable of communicating long distance anymore. This saddens me. What I wouldn’t give to hear, “Honey, that is life, it is so daily.” just one more time.
Yesterday was stressful enough. Anytime you have to meet a new surgeon and evaluate next steps to fix something you thought was done is annoying. When you have to start over with a new set of specialists, the anxiety level sky rockets. All’s well that ends well, I guess.
Really wish that was the only stress I had to address yesterday, alas, it wasn’t. We learned that my husband’s grandmother passed while we were carrying on with the business of our daily lives yesterday. May she rest in peace.
To be honest, her passing a blessing. She hasn’t truly been herself for years. We would see her every time we were home, but I don’t think she even knew we were there the last few times we visited.
It is painful and sad to watch the vim and vigor slip slowly from a person who has always been vital and energetic. In her latter years, she was blessed to become a Great Grandmother. In many ways, the babies learning to eat paralleled what was happening with Grandma D. There was always a spark of excitement and joy when she would see the babies. In my heart of hearts, I truly believe these babies extended her life by at least a year, if not more.
We will miss Grandma D. There will be hole in the family get-togethers, but she is truly in a better place. In my eyes, Grandma D has not been cognizant for awhile now. She was there, physically, barely. Her daughter dedicated her life to ensuring Grandma D had everything she needed and was well taken care of. The next days will be the first steps of a new reality.
Since the last time I sat down to blog, I have accomplished a lot. Probably why I haven’t found the time to blog.
Recent events caused a complete upheaval for one of my family members’ travel plans. I am so sorry they weren’t able to make it home to celebrate our mother’s ninetieth birthday, but it has evolved into a full-blown family reunion. First one in almost twenty years!
Seizing the opportunity, I approached the family about planning a get-together to celebrate all of the parents’ milestones this year, but in one fell swoop. It is difficult to get all of us together in one place, at one time.
Quickly, I identified everyone’s schedules to consider. This was so much easier when all of the grandchildren were kids and the parents had a lot more control. Now, everyone is a grownup, taking care of grownup things, so this task has become much more complicated.
I am proud to say that by the end of four days communicating, we were able to get the pillars in place that allow us to move on to the more interesting challenges with planning and executing a family reunion.
This sounds really mundane, but it isn’t. We were able to agree on a date, location, schedule travel and other arrangements for 20 people in less than one week. That is pretty impressive by itself, but toss in the fact this involves 4 different states, 10 professionals, 2 senior citizens, 2 teenagers and a couple of great grandchildren and the breadth of the task starts coming to light.
Family reunion, here I come!
This has been a week. This has been a year and it is only March! Yikes!
Today’s challenges – attempting to convince a corporate IT guy that it is okay to technically break the rules, because my boss said so. Yea, that went about as far you might think it would or should. Why do we have all of these processes and procedures if all it takes is a handshake agreement to get a ‘pass’?
I don’t care and none of this would be bothering me if it wasn’t interfering with the rest of my workload! I am not one of those people sitting on a lackadaisical job here. The woman who reminds me a minimum of 3 times per week to do a task that I have been doing religiously for almost 5 years – she has a lackadaisical job, but I digress.
These are the things that delay my progress in onboarding a new team member. I reiterate, my process works as long as you dot all the “i’s” and cross all the “t’s”. Folks there are no shortcuts. Every step is there for a reason. Each task has a prerequisite. If you skip one or the other, or take a left instead of a right, that will cause a delay in your processing toward productivity.
I digressed again. I think this is bothering me so much because this delay in processing is really putting a crimp in my week. If we had followed the process, we would be done. I would be able to focus on my personal life during my off hours. But no. Not this week! This week, I have to keep noodling on creative ideas to solve this randomly introduced hiccup into the whole process. What pisses me off! (Here comes the truest statement I have written in weeks!) This whole damn thing could have been avoided! I stated very clearly in August that if we did this option, my process would not only break, but I would not be able to use my secret sauce to get ‘er done.
If I wasn’t already annoyed about the whole chaos step introduced into my world at work, my life gets a nasty wrinkle too. Guess this is a reminder to care about what is important. We have an appointment to do our taxes tomorrow – that means homework for me tonight. Then had my nightly family call. The news is the oncologist will be doing additional research, putting together the history and present it to essentially a board of experts. We should have treatment recommendations next week at this time.
Yeppers this has been a challenging week.
Recently we replaced our roof and our skylights. Hallelujah! I had no idea what a difference this would make to my life.
Given that little win and other happenings in my life, I am at a crossroads.
Inspired by how successful the minor improvement made my life, I am evaluating updating my master bath and my kitchen.
So I have been looking, salivating, dreaming and pricing the changes that I want to make to my home.
My goodness! The things one could do with an unlimited budget and a deep-rooted belief this is where you should be for the rest of your life!
There is my crossroad. Invest in this house, or merely buy a new one in the place I really want to be.
To make that decision, requires investigation and evaluation.
In order to make such decisions, I need to understand what is important.
As a homeowner and dreamer, I am familiar with the research tools that Zillow has to offer, but realized today that I have absolutely no clue what about 90% of the data available on their site really means for me.
I am getting closer to defining my constraints to help me narrow my relevant results, but there is so much more to know!
Today’s learning: What is Construction Quality and should I care?
Well it is that part of my life, again, where I have something to look forward to – planning a family vacation.
It is so far out, but I like to lock things down.
The deal is my DIL is about to turn a milestone age, so is my husband.
We need to follow the family tradition and plan a cruise to Alaska!
I have narrowed down the trip options and am getting closer to the designated date. Woohoo. This will get exciting!